Genesis of the Man
I don't have the strength to want or fight anymore.
Everything is ruined and spoiled.
The wings don't fly for they are burned.
Legs don't walk for they are cracked at hips.
Crawling to find a place to rest and drink.
I cannot beat the world with a stick to gain.
Because - I am beaten meat.
I need to come home.
Where somebody covers me with a woolen sheet.
Put tea on the table, without needless talk.
Mom, I need a hug - just one warm look.
Father, I want to lean on your calm wisdom.
At least once, just once - this one day.
I wish I had such a place on earth.
Medea, you are disgusted by my presence.
The corpse is closer to you - not life.
Ruthless truth about the two of us.
It screams with every word spit in my face.
Don't say it anymore.
You teach me to be strong and silent.
I taste the misery of the unwanted.
The chest is eaten by ugly birds.
You love the drops on postcards - from Belzec.
I quietly disappear with no drama.
World will be better.
Ulcer, which doesn't know to heal.
Nobody misses the voice of fish.
Quietly walk away from filthy slum.
Fear will not stop me.
I have stone-like decision in my head.
What waits under the bridge of fallen heroes?
Just walk slowly and with dignity.
I place the steps like Chinese domino.
Drink the cup to the very bottom.
Beautiful land is drawn in bright colors.
Boy walks towards unknown.
He cannot do otherwise, no other choice.
A hollow emptiness in his head.
Grief burns beneath the ribs.
Sad as usual, just those ribs are pressing more.
I am approaching the railway ditch.
Scared already, but one with this fear.
No place to stay for me.
I climb up slowly.
Mad Beethoven is pumping my veins.
I smell the rails and sticky beams.
This is my hell - to greet.
The boy is crossing the Rubicon.
Stares at the garden in the distance for a while.
I climb over the rusty railing.
The fear gets physically unbearable now.
My hair stood up, but
I stand straight - about to fall.
This body can't take no more fear.
Hold on to nothing, accept all.
Neither on the side of life nor death.
Ground zero above the deep - waiting.
Blue sky has torn apart right here.
Panic evaporated like a dream fog.
Boy was looking for death.
Man was born.
One free, without burden.
Just Love for all which moves or does not move.
The Self in perfection and unity.
Unburdened by vibration of the mind.
I've never felt this in my days.
That's why I'm here.
I can die this moment and life is fulfilled.
The drunks are waving under the bridge.
Shouting to finish this drama.
Bloody theater for their amusement.
Before today morning hangover.
Love is flying to them.
They - who wish my death.
I'm staying to live.
To be in this world.
Spring only in mind.
Body is not moving yet.
Slowly, slowly – getting back.
The Love is the new reality.
This was hidden to me for long.
I had to pay for the treasure.
I am ecstatic, shocked by this news.
Cannot grasp it, afraid to lose.
Slipping back into the old ways.
My first sin in knowing.
I am imperfect, not a saint.
We forge our chains.
By wishing to own.
Voting for death.
Be what you always have been.
They did not tell you - ignorant parents and teachers.
Cultivate a dull thanks in the innocent.
Hanging children's trust on hooks with meat.
Corrupt saints and politics.
They want to rule and preach to forge.
No.
No.
It's you.
It's us.
Bound by greed and hunger.
For Love and Conscious Being.
Wake up today.
Note:
One who thinks that this text is about depression - understands very little. It is about what remains when all fear vanishes.
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Genesis of the Man Poem - Video